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Hana Sakura's official Project Journal

Pancake Waffle UNITE henshin xDDDD

heden; waar kussenslopen niet goed voor zijn
Daisuke, Takanori
Ik ben het beu dat gedrag van jou. Met een geheven hoofd keek ik naar het denkbeeldige aquarium terwijl Daisuke verder ging met zijn preek. Wat is dat toch met je? Als er iets scheelt zeg het dan. Okay Zijn stem verhief zich een beetje en trilde. Alsof hij zo goed over zijn gevoelens kon praten. Dikke hypocriet. Witte en rode vissen zwomen rustig in het aquamarijn blauwe water. Ik wou dat ik er in verdrinken kon. Schreeuwen hielp niet dus ik zweeg. Hoe zit het eigenlijk? Had je nog gezocht naar werk? Oeps vergeten. Daisuke's dunne wenkbrauwen frontste een gat in het plafond. Mijn hoofd schudde van nee. Typisch.zuchtte hij. Ik zal morgen wel verder zoeken. loog ik. Alle dingen die ik nooit tegen hem kon zeggen flitste door mijn hoofd. De film die nooit de bioscoopzalen zou halen.
Voorzichtig zette ik een punt achter het korte gesprek door naar mijn kamer te slenteren. Slaap wel mompelde ik. Toen ik mijn kleren een voor een van me afpelde als een slang die zijn huid verloor keek ik in de spiegel. Alweer een kilo bij. Slaap overviel me. Zonder mijn tanden te poetsen kroop ik meteen in mijn koude bed. De lakens roken niet meer zo fris maar wel aangenaam zacht. Net toen ik me wou neerlegen ging mijn deur open.

Chapter one: The mess that created a person
Daisuke, Takanori
Oh god my fingers itch. Typing proves to be rather difficult it seems. I guess I can give it a shot.
My name is Takanori Yoshida. I'm ... age and I live somewhere in Japan. I can't tell exactly where though.
I have been diagnosed with autism even thought the majority of people don't even think I have it. Fuck to them.
I'm a filthy mouthed person whose english comes from TV,watching my brother study and books.
So what is my story? Or rather what is their story? This story is all about us. People with arms and legs and bleeding fingernails.
I'm writing this from my bedroom sitting infront of a HP Pavillion  with a serial code CZH94037T and model type m9860be
But I call her mermaid princess. It's the pc's name. No I'm not some sick freak who wants to marry his pc. Goddamn it no

Let's begin:

how did I meet them?

Ah I was 16 and yeah it was at school. The class is very crowded and noisy. Glad when that ended. So then I see this person. He's the president of the chess club. Age 18. Name Daisuke Nakamura. Wearing glasses and braces. God a nerd. Perfect. But I found out he's the leader of a deliquent group yeah. So I followed him and then he caught on to me. He chatched me in the act. Ohh Didn't say a thing just walked past him. His eyes have a strange vibe. Nice I thought. But his fingers looked like that of a girl. Haha. He's so feminine.
There's a clone of him; twin brother. Name Kiyoharu Nakamura. Oh I heard he's autistic. Like me!! (that's a true fact).
I watched them. They seemed close. It made me want to approch them. I mean so interesting. I watched them act.
Nobody seems to mind them at all. Kiyoharu's been picked on I saw but ignored like me. In his spare time he watched the birds outside.
He's really beautiful. I don't know why I said that but I think I never felt like that about a girl. I sat next to him. Then his brother came,he didn't payed attention to me. I wanted to run after them. Class the next day hm I'll skip that it's about Kiyoharu and Daisuke this story.
Daisuke had P.E yeah and he sucked at soccer haha. It's like he doesnt know how to. But he can run like the wind. I'm jealous.
His middle name is chinese appearently. He's half chinese. And he eats digusting food. I heard one of his friends say it smelled like sweaty socks. He has lots of friends. They all seem so normal and odd.

I finally know what type of story i wanted to write
Daisuke, Takanori

I guess I can't explain this. I really can't. I kinda hurts. It's like I'm lying to everyone. But who am I really? Or am I lying to me? Myself? What is myself? Do I think too much? Who? Who? It's the weather it breaks my emotions apart. I yelled and screamed and cried and cried.
Oh this isn't even the beginning of the story is it? I'll tell it however I feel. You see so much has happend and I forgot a lot of it.
So Daisuke well yeah hm He dyed his hair blonde and I thought it wasn't like him at all. I moved in with him like more than a year.
He really loves me. Like a boyfriend. Wow But this guy used to be so indifferent to these things. I said he always had a crush on me. That's not true? I can't tell lies from truth. But I like love Kiyoharu so. But Kiyoharu is so far away from me his emotions and such.
I never slept with him like Daisuke wanted to sleep together with me. It strange because we always have to touch so much brrrr.
It's creepy. He likes it though. I can't really tell if it's what I want. Oh and the band is nonexistent as well. I wanted to write a book about all of this this odd life of mine but I can't. Because then I would be lying. Right? I don't live like this. I don't know any guys who love me and talk about sex to me. I did know a guy whose name is Daisuke. He's the best student of school. My school is normal so not like a deliquent school.

Takanori (me) is an autistic person who writes about people who he met at school and then they formed a band.
The guys have types of disorders and odd backgrounds. He says two of  them love him.
But is this true? No he just lives in his own world and created these people (who go to his school) as his friends.

he actually loves the people who he created and the thought of them not existing makes him insane.

Still i have write about their background and all and in my head it sounds normal and correct but I have been unable to write it down
I can't write down stuff any longer. Ever since I lost my poems I lost the ability to write and now I got them back and they're crap and I feel like I'm not good enough.

There's a deadline There's a deadline people!!! (brainstorming)
Daisuke, Takanori
Things aren't progressing well. I want to write but my mind is so hollow.
Maybe I should take a shower or dunno I think i'm pushing myself.
I wanted to write about how i think my story should go and how it
will progress I have so many ideas but when I want to write them down
they either change or completely evaporate xD

I have this thing in my head

takanori will end up not talking to any of his friends because each of them are busy.
it'll take months before they'll get back in touch. Loads of things changed then.
E.G his relationship with kiyoharu would end up as if they didn't even had one at all.
(hm dunno how to explain but eeh) anyway kiyoharu had to be placed somewhere because well he can't quite live on his own
takumi and daisuke's marriage was okay,then daisuke got fed up keeping his anger in whenever takumi did something he didn't quite like
he planned for them to get divorced behind takumi's back (hm) Basically his personality disorder just got out of hand and taking meds isn't gonna help. they either don't work long enough or they turn him into a plant. like i told ya before daisuke hated takumis gut and slowly those feelings start to surface again. they are so different from each other: takumi being a slightly naive grown-up with loads of social contacts who exercises daily and has a steady job. he's still a bit materialistic and kinda lives in his own world. Daisuke ended up becoming more calm but he actually wasn't all that calm because he just did it for takumis sake. and yeah he went from doing internet jobs and being a freelance artist to working a real job (labratory work for some farmacy) but he's afraid that he'll lose his job. his old (slightly strange ) friends dumped him because of his marriage to takumi and now he got back together with some old college friends.

so that's what went on with them

now takanori on his part ended up living with his brother in a small house (like i did with my sister) and is still unemployed.

yeah takanori ended up calling masaki (no idea how his life went so far-guy's a mystery) and they went to see the others
back then daisuke and takumi still lived together but slowly after that daisuke packed up his things and went apartment searching

after the mystery devorce (or maybe it didn't go through at all O.O)
daisuke got kinda lonely and asked if takanori wouldn't want to live with him for awhile. he was feeling pretty down

now another thing i can't quite get the relationships

let me explain

first ya got Takanori: he loves Kiyoharu not only like a friend but as a lover
Kiyoharu: he is completely fascinated by takanori and yeah he thinks of him as special (but is he in love with takanori ? maybe he doesn't know what that is like so maybe he could be in love but he just doesn't understand it)
Takumi: he loves daisuke with all his heart (which is strange to love the guy who hated the crap out of you)
(maybe his naive mind just blocked out the image of daisuke actually hitting him on the head with a rock-well he did forget that but they did tell him)
Daisuke: how he loves Takumi isn't sure: first he hated him for being a weakling with no backbone who knew nothing about life,then he started to find him amusing,then he started to know him and actually opened up to him,then they became friends, but then??
what kind of love is it; there's definitly respect for takumi in a certain way and he is pyschically atracted to him but emotionally hm?
he can't talk to the guy because his feelings get hurt to fast or he just doesn't seem to get it. well he can talk to him but they have their secrets) Daisuke doesnt want to come of his shell fully I think and let takumi show who he really is because he's afraid takumi might have too big of an influence over him and he might become well let's call it weak. yeah daisuke's got his pride. he doesn't want no sissy boy to turn him into a equally sissy boy xD
--- another thing like i mentioned daisuke acts differently with takanori and why is that?

well for one thing he thinks takanori is more straightfowards opinion wise
they do also seem to have more in common in terms of hobbies

takanori also puts up better with daisuke's agressive behaviour
they don't always communicate on the same level or daisuke's humor works on taka's mind.
many facepalm moments xDDD -enough said-
but oddly enough in that odd brain of daisuke he feels like he can say anything to takanori which he never felt with anyone else before
and yeah i told ya daisuke feels at ease with takumi but that was just at certain occasions. --
to put this whole shit short I think Daisuke's feelings are meant for takanori
He felt like that long before he met Takumi (yeah some people end up falling in love with a friend,never tell them then end up getting married with some second best choice hmm) But after what Daisuke did to his brother his common sense told him no don't do it. he actually thought he had another mentally disturb crush like he had on kiyoharu. turns out it's just normal love. hmmm

L.S.D biography
Daisuke, Takanori
the history of the bandCollapse )

Q&A Daisuke's personality
Daisuke, Takanori

read it pleaseCollapse )

Let's take a peek in the closet:Kiyoharu
Daisuke, Takanori
Take a peek into the closet of a sweet mori lolitaCollapse )

L.S.D Graffiti Album Lyrics
Daisuke, Takanori


silly lyrics make a silly bandCollapse )


Tofu Noodles Inc. -discography-
Daisuke, Takanori




Tofu Noodles Inc. (Yoru's 1st solo project)
Daisuke, Takanori


Tofu Noodles.INCCollapse )